Remember
by Affectionate-Ferret
Summary: Todd recalls those times with Johnny before he left and how blind he was with fear to see the friendship they had...not really a pairing but if it's what you like than myeh.


**Disclaimer of DOOM: I don't own JTHM nor Squee!...though sometimes in the middle of the night I wish I do…**

_(I'm assuming Todd was six in the comic…sorry if that's inaccurate)_

**--**

Little boy sat up against a wall, knees brought up to his bare chest as he breathed in the deep aroma of flower soap as it was laced with the warm steam from the hot shower he had just exited. He smelled clean once again and he always loved the after fragrance of it all. He smiled at the shower through the steam, with glazed over eyes. His eyes he loved because of their pure innocence. He worked so hard for his innocence, rarely ever talked back, never cursed…yet, tried to love, he didn't bully or bash others until there was nothing but goo left…no…he didn't even kill. He couldn't even bring himself to squish a fly, even after it kept him up all night before a major test. No…Todd was nothing like that.

He finally got up from his spot once the steam began to dissipate and made a clear spot on the mirror with his arm so he could see his face. He had a beautiful face. His short, raven black hair was already feathering out like it usually did. From the same routines over and over again- even his hair learned to do what it was supposed to already from how regular his routines were. He looked into his own brown eyes, full of gentleness and sincerity. He smiled and blushed a little at his reflection then moved back and glanced over his sickly thin yet delightfully pale body. He wasn't sickly pale like most people were, just a snow like pale, with a sweet white glow, as if he were an angel. But he was grossly thin and would seem like he would break any moment now.

But he loved that quality of himself because it was almost like that of the man he once feared and still did. The man that was once his old next door neighbor, a homicidal maniac that was his only friend next to Pepito. His fear for his old friend was still there and he was scared that he might come back one day, but, oh, he missed him terribly. He missed the bed time stories that kept him up all night. He missed the screams next door that kept him up all night. He missed the way the man would first intruded his house for a bottle of bactine…yeah…. that kept him up and awake for weeks, terrified of when he might come back…but that's when he earned his nickname as well. But he missed him and his strangely gentle and lonely face. Todd missed his raspy deep voice and darkening, deep eyes. He was a very attractive man if you looked past his outer flaws, in which everyone had, but seemed to like picking on that man because of his thin body and strangeness. Yes…Johnny was very attractive.

Todd only had two things that reminded him of Johnny…besides the scary souvenirs that the man once left in his room every night; his stick thin, unattractive body and a small pendant. It was silver pendant with a worn out green and scratched clear gem on a chain. Todd had never taken it off since it was given to him before Nny's permanent disappearance. Todd was eight when Johnny stopped leaving him gifts and was 12 now. So…only four years now since he stopped hearing from Johnny…but it had been six years since he'd actually seen him. He sighed sadly for a second before pulling on the fresh clothes he had left on the counter next to the sink. He had already dried off, but some of his clothes were still attracted to his damp skin and made it ten times more difficult to pull on.

He brushed out his hair abit then walked out of the bathroom into the cool bright air, back to his room. He flopped down on his bed and looked at the dead bear in his closet. He smiled softly at the lifeless eyes and meaningless smile on the bear then looked up at the bear ceiling. The walls were now bare except for the light blue wallpaper. Todd thought that it brightened the room from the plain blank white walls that had absolutely no emotion to them. Blue…his favorite color.

He glanced back at his closet before closing his eyes- another weekend with no plans. Oh, well, another weekend to see where it would take him, hopefully those crazy events wouldn't happen like when he was just a kid. God, did those still give him nightmares and make him jolt awake at night. Todd shuddered slightly before sitting up then getting to his feet before walking to his closet. He shuffled through the clothes he had before stopping at the feel of rough cloth in his hands. He tilted his head curiously before tugging on it, until the cloth came free of its hanger and falling limp in the boy's hands. He looked at it to see that it was pure black except for the logo on the back which said something along the lines of '_loves a BITCH!_' When'd he get this?

Unsure of where in the world it came from he put it back on the hanger and backed away from his closet. Maybe Johnny was back? No. Johnny was gone forever, never coming back. He left Todd to suffer this world of crack addicts and abusive parents and bullies. He left Todd to learn his own lessons…though…he did warn him first before he went on his '_holiday_' as Johnny had called it. Todd sighed softly, thinking back to those times when Nny would jump into the window, head to toe in blood. When he heard screams and plea's next door, the sound of metal on flesh the ripping of skin and…Todd felt like puking now, thinking back to all those not so fond memories.

Todd turned his head to window to look down at that little shack of a house. Sometimes Todd wished he could go on a six year holiday. Maybe…never come back, he could go somewhere where only nice and good people stayed and everyone was friends but…aha, that's only what little girls and grown women in beauty pageants '_dreamed_' of: A perfect world…world peace. Not twelve year old boys with mental abuse. Or would they?

The boy nibbled his lip, accidently nipping through a little, allowing the familiar taste of iron to set place on his taste buds. He licked at the tiny insignificant cut in his lip while walking towards the window then leaning against the sill. He looked down at the ole' 777 house and remembered all of those bad times in which he strangely missed so much. Johnny, as Todd liked to believe, helped him out with some of his fears as he had learned there were much more things to fear in humanity than to fear in his closet or under his bed. Humans…were so much worse than aliens and monsters. Unfortunately he was still scared of little things here and there, but that was normal than a lot for most people….even some irrational fears got a hold of him like…fear of cell phones and trees, or cell phone holding trees! The boy shivered from the thought but fixated his mind on something else. Why did Johnny like him so much? Johnny had treated Todd like a little brother or how a father was _supposed_ to treat their son…Johnny was the biggest male role model he had before he decided to leave…he didn't even know why he left, he just did.

But though he missed Johnny so greatly, he never dared venture near his house. There was always something demonic about that house, something…unsettling that made Todd wanna throw up and burst into flame but, spontaneous combustion is scary. So many flames and blistering heat, oh, no!!

A wind pushed through the window opening, creating a strange tingling sensation on Todd's warm skin. He always left the window open, knowing and hoping that Nny would return with his psychotic gaze and bloody weapons looking for a band aid or disinfectant. And when he closed his eyes and turned off all his senses but touch, he could feel Johnny's gaze over his body. His watchfulness and caring yet dark eyes, protecting Todd from all those horrible dangers of Pedophiles and demon doctors, yes, Todd felt his gaze. In fact…he could feel it right now, pulsing happiness through his veins. It felt nice to him, and he felt protected once again.

"I'm going for a walk." He said out loud, like usual out of habit or just in hope someone who cared would hear. He grabbed his keys from his dresser then left his room after telling whoever heard he'd be back later then he headed down stairs where he heard his mom swooning over something that could only be cheese and crackers and his father yelling for him to clean his room. His room was spotless though, with almost no possessions as he had put all his childhood in boxes and put them in the basement only a few months ago, his birthday would be soon and he would be thirteen, and an official teen that didn't need their torturous childhood hanging onto his life.

So he ignored his father and left the house, as casual as possible, he turned to the little shack of a house and smiled before waving a little as if saying good bye or hello to the invisible man he liked to pretend was Johnny sometimes. He turned then headed down the street; eyes averted straight ahead, in hopes that one day the scary neighbor man would come home, and maybe…even bring another dead gift. "Maybe one day." He told himself the same gentle smile playing on his lips and cool air tingling against his warm cheeks.

~A man watched a little boy exit his house then wave to no one in particular before turning then walking down the worn and old sidewalk, leading to wherever it was the desired destination was. The man smiled. Five years ago he came back, six years ago he left his only friend behind, but it tore at him, and it was that boy who probably prevented the man from achieving his goal of numbing all feeling, all emotion from his life. He felt too much affection for the boy, he felt too compelled to watching and protecting him. The man blinked his eyes closed, tears of what he thought was supposed to be impossible happiness slid down his horribly thin cheeks then dripped from his chin. He sighed heavily then turned away from the window and crossed his arms close to his body before heading into the opposite room of the house, the room with the most memories, the most memories he'd rather not remember from his days of insanity. "It was a pleasure watching you grow Squeegee. I'm proud of you, and maybe if I play my cards right, I can watch you grow into a handsome and successful man with a loving family and a sane mind."

~_Fin~_


End file.
